What Is a Romantic?
Romanticism is just another pattern. What is that pattern? It occurred to me to try to write it down. This is not perfect, but I’m erring on the side of something over nothing.
Necessary traits of a Romantic
- Unattainable Object of love
- Willingness to do anything to attain object of love, even destroy oneself
- Persistence in the face of certain failure
Oftentimes associated
- Belief in the possibility of magical or seemingly impossible things
- Overwhelming feelings, especially longing, pain, and suffering
- Yearning to be rescued
- Intuitive “knowing” of what must be done
- Relating life to fairy-tales, fantasy stories, or mythology
In the romantic pursuit, there is a sort of ladder. Although a ladder is not a perfect analogy, where a romantic is on the ladder correlates with how a romantic acts.
Egoic Romantic (bottom of the ladder)
- Belief in being fundamentally flawed
- Constant negative judgment of oneself compared with others
- Tendency to cry out by silently sulking or withdrawing, and secretly wishing that others will seek them out
- Belief in being misunderstood, unappreciated for one’s specialness, and alone in one’s feelings — the metaphor being a superhero with a secret identity
Romantic Transcendence (top of the ladder)
- Acceptance of oneself and others
- Seeing true magic in everyday life
- Pursuit without fear of loss or hope of gain
- Surrender to love
- Egoic self destroyed
- Subject and Object of love are One
A logical breakdown is interesting because in my experience, anything can be done by (1) demystifying and (2) practicing. Demystifying is the first step to practicing, and practicing is the first step to becoming.
