How to Be a Romantic

Well, you can break his heart.

There was once a person that was in love with me, or I’d like to believe rather, in love with the idea of me, for almost 15 years. About half a year ago, we realized that it would never, could never, work out (we had grown too far apart characteristically and this is in no way the story of childhood-best-friend-turned-love-of-your-life). Though the story was appealing, and in the sunny California air the Jersey protagonists optimistically attempted to make something tangible/real from the clouds of their thoughts and past, it was always the story that worked - not us.

And since then, he has vowed never to speak to me, ever again. Do unrequited love stories always end as such? Must they? Into some tragic end of sorts. It makes me think that he’s still more in love with the story (as if I were Estella and he, Pip), the extreme feelings, than actually caring about who I am, and where our potential lies in being valuable in each others’ lives as human beings, as kindred spirits. Vaya, qué pena.

“I took her hand in mine and we went out of the ruined place; and, as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw the shadow of no parting from her.” (Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens).

How can I be awesome for you?

I’ve discovered a certain point when you empower someone or make them feel like they rock, and they immediately turn to you and say “You are awesome!”.

I’m calling this the Point of Awesomeness — when you remove the barrier to joy in someone’s life. Sometimes it’s as small as a compliment. Other times, it’s bigger. But the feeling the person has is always the same.

This is a rare and special thing. Seeing what’s blocking you from joy is hard; it’s much easier from an outside perspective. But other people are busy pursuing their own passions.

As someone wanting to be awesome for the people I care about, it’s generally hard to figure out exactly how to do that. The times it has happened, what I did or said was unexpected, so there’s no way to ask someone how to be awesome for them. Because they literally don’t know.

What frustrates me the most, is when people are passionate about something and don’t talk about it. I can’t help you rock at what you love if you don’t tell me what you care about.

I get the impression, though, that most people aren’t passionate about what they do on a daily basis — something I just never understood. Is it because they never found what they’re passionate about? Is it because they are afraid of failing to get what they want, and so aren’t honest about it? Is it because they are unable to do what they’re passionate about, b/c of lack of money or connections? With the internet, knowledge is no longer the barrier it used to be. Time can be an issue for some, but for the most part, when you love something, you will make time for it.

Can anyone please shed some light on this for me, and help me be awesome for the people I care about? (I’m really not expecting anyone to actually do this, so if you do, you will be awesome!)

True Magic — When Work Isn't Work

One time, minimeals called me a hard-worker, and it just didn’t seem right. Now I realize why.

I never work hard. But I have always been good at being honest with myself and discovering what I love sooner than everyone else. So when it looks like I’m working hard, I’m actually pursuing what I love. When you’re doing that, work isn’t work; it’s play.

All things being equal, someone who enjoys something will always be better at it than someone who doesn’t enjoy it. All my life, I’ve played to win, whether it was miniature golf or grades in school, sometimes at the expense of enjoyment. But taking this strategy to its conclusion, I’ve derived the opposite strategy of playing to enjoy.

When your wish is dependent on something beyond your power, “all you’ve got” simply isn’t enough. The X-factor — the true magic born out of giving yourself to the thing you love — is your only chance.